February 29, 2012

Dust Bowl Stilettos
with a 38" handcrafted sleek teak heel
you can achieve that slender sexy lift
in ways you never imagined possible


February 28, 2012

hootie :: 7

- a self proclaimed master of hedonism - 
liked to unwind after a long day 
by indulging in some raspberries, licorice, and tea
puffing away on his favorite pipe
and (of course) polishing his knife collection

February 27, 2012

assembled by a true artist
whose genius you cannot possibly comprehend
this accumulation of wooded scraps 
- significant in that they had something to do with the production of tobacco -
have been repurposed to perfection
 with a tangle of elegant pepto cord
giving it that DIY bohocharm
at an anthropological price


February 24, 2012

One more thing . . .

teaming up with our favorite consumer electronics company
- the apple of our digital eye -
we decided that white was no longer ostentatious enough

we wanted something more valiant
something shinier
something that was even more of a status symbol

it had to be gold


February 23, 2012

in love though they were
the hapless bohemians could not frolic fast enough
to escape the atomic blast

February 22, 2012

whimsy up your room 
with a flirtatiously suggestive remnant
of our softly feminine paeonia wallpaper 


actual remnant may vary

February 21, 2012

this reflective ovality
was inspired by the craftsman's past life
in which he was a mirror


February 20, 2012

our latest skirt will grow on you quickly
and is so versatile in its wearability
- so adaptable -
that it will soon pervade your every outfit


February 17, 2012

our grand masters of illusion
have concocted a perplexing enigma of unrelenting genius

see, it looks invisible 
but then, what are those handles attached to?
are they just . . . floating . . . in space?
be this the handiwork of the devil?

this be toe-stubbing designery at its finest


February 16, 2012

Valencia Noose
inspired by america's rich history of capital punishment
our noose is hand-crafted with top-notch spanish leather
that threads through a rustic brass ringbuckle

with the Valencia Noose
you can hang a few notches above the rest


February 15, 2012

our latest shade of tangerine
falls on the anthro-color spectrum
between dreamy cornflower-blue and wet-cement
epitomizing the tart and lively summer hue
that we all adore

February 14, 2012

whether you are experiencing a romantic montage
within a fictionalized bohemian ideal

or watching the notebook alone
sadly curled up with your liquor, diet coke, and chinese leftovers
and your phone carefully disconnected 
to prevent you from drunk dialing your ex

we are here for you
to fulfill all of your valentine's day needs


February 13, 2012

nothing says "i love you"
like a wobbly porcelain disk
with a ghastly, photoshopped ribbon heart


February 12, 2012

farcical in size
and over 7 lbs in weight
this ancient talisman contains a forbidden lovecurse
that he won't be able to resist


February 10, 2012

may your outfit match your deceitful personality
with this duplicitous, slouchy top
one side - shimmering and smooth
the other - wicked as the night
expertly spliced together in our boutique laboratory


February 8, 2012

witness our fancy-free assemblage of rumpled, floaty garments,
designer leather carryalls to hold your creative tools,
and splotched template-wedges for contemporary floorpainting

we have designed an exclusive collection for the artist in you
(that MAY NOT be returned if splotched with paint)
as you create moody, intellectual expressions
 on the expansive glass walls of your studio

you must resemble a masterpiece
before you can create one

February 7, 2012

send your lamp to its final resting place
in a traditional and dignified pine casket


February 6, 2012

the ouroboros of mammals
this adorable creature 
represents the perpetual cyclic renewal of life
as it gnaws itself to death


February 3, 2012

the perfect gift for the vain candle in your life 
our latest sconce allows your flambeau 
to lovingly gaze at its own perceived beauty
for hours at a time


February 2, 2012

transform your feet 
into prim and proper 
lacified decor


February 1, 2012

get the confidential tan you've been dreaming of
with this portable breezy beachfortress