Expressionist Tea Pot

designed by norwegian symbolist Edvard Munch

our agonized teavessel represents emotional distortion,

démodé gender roles,

and hypersexualized depersonalization

while exploring the teapot's ever-changing roll 

in today's desaturated post-kitchen

$128

Her face may have been tragically disfigured by the kite-decorating mishap
but that wasn't going to stop Emileigh from making the most twee dating video
that eHarmony has ever seen

Timeless Bracelet

we have replaced the mundane, bothersome functionality of a wristwatch

with whimsically impractical sparkling flowers

$198

It was the first and last time Heather would hire Christo as her interior designer.

Tarnished Memories Mirror Cluster

like a war-torn lover's portrait

or a widowed mermaid

staring at the reflective jetsam of her prince's descended ship

you, too, can appear wistful, antiquated, and forlorn

while blaming your blemishes and other facial imperfections on 

not one

not two

not three

not four

not five

not six

but seven tarnished mirrors

and a small but critical chalk board

$698

Robotic Wrath-hopper Prototype

blurring the line between nature and machine

between covert weapon and transmogrified insect 

anthrolabs   [a subsidiary of anthroparodie]

has developed the latest in steam-powered roboinsect technology

nefarious features included:

wind-up deathray ovipositor

flame-throwing compound eye

prothorax of terror

ultra-spring femur (for transcontinental launching)

precise 17-jewel movement

waterproof to 100 m

$1298

next: the world

- anthrolabs -

prix fixe :: course 5

Cabbage with Assorted Garnish

our raw master chef Jacque Escroquerie 

has created a culinary triumph

with a rustic head of the purest savoy cabbage

so pure! it requires neither seasoning nor preparation

garnished with a spirited gallimaufry of jungle bugs

languished radishes - inverted to perfection

a pallid jug of indescribable potation

and a single egg, resting on its side

for dessert:

a dangling sandal of chocolate

a dangling sandal of butterscotch

side by side

$319

sure, the "open closet" design was palatial and breezy

but even chloe couldn't deny the inefficiency of it all

Fishing Poncho

for ages, fishing has failed to achieve its chic, elitist potential

and ponchos

well, don't even get us started

but today we have united them

into an unprecedented amalgamation

our native american inspired chevron streaked virgin-wool cape

makes fishing the new tennis

ponchos . . .

the new pea coats

$348

Blue Eunuch Figurines

blue for obvious reasons

these amorphous gents

will grace your mantle

with hints of expensive

 - if questionable -

taste

$988

Bird Takeoff Ramp

learning to fly 

 a daunting trial for any bird

but our training ramp allows for a smoother, silkier transition 

from the surface confines 

to an infinite sky of possibilities

$24

with hundreds of vintage bicycles encircling her suggestive pose

ellie knew it was only a matter of time 

before she landed herself a hipster

Chameleon Candleholder

so effective that we can't even properly photograph it

this color-shifting paranormal taper

would be the envy of the other candleholders

if only it could be seen

$24

Sherlock hardly considered himself a bird enthusiast

but the mysteries of the bluejay had long perplexed him