March 29, 2012

designed by norwegian symbolist Edvard Munch
our agonized teavessel represents emotional distortion,
démodé gender roles,
and hypersexualized depersonalization
while exploring the teapot's ever-changing roll 
in today's desaturated post-kitchen


March 26, 2012

Her face may have been tragically disfigured by the kite-decorating mishap
but that wasn't going to stop Emileigh from making the most twee dating video
that eHarmony has ever seen

March 21, 2012

Timeless Bracelet
we have replaced the mundane, bothersome functionality of a wristwatch
with whimsically impractical sparkling flowers


March 20, 2012

It was the first and last time Heather would hire Christo as her interior designer.

March 19, 2012

like a war-torn lover's portrait
or a widowed mermaid
staring at the reflective jetsam of her prince's descended ship
you, too, can appear wistful, antiquated, and forlorn

while blaming your blemishes and other facial imperfections on 
not one
not two
not three
not four
not five
not six
but seven tarnished mirrors

and a small but critical chalk board


March 16, 2012

blurring the line between nature and machine
between covert weapon and transmogrified insect 
anthrolabs   [a subsidiary of anthroparodie]
has developed the latest in steam-powered roboinsect technology

nefarious features included:
wind-up deathray ovipositor
flame-throwing compound eye
prothorax of terror
ultra-spring femur (for transcontinental launching)
precise 17-jewel movement
waterproof to 100 m


next: the world
- anthrolabs -

March 15, 2012

prix fixe :: course 5

Cabbage with Assorted Garnish
our raw master chef Jacque Escroquerie 
has created a culinary triumph
with a rustic head of the purest savoy cabbage
so pure! it requires neither seasoning nor preparation
garnished with a spirited gallimaufry of jungle bugs
languished radishes - inverted to perfection
a pallid jug of indescribable potation
and a single egg, resting on its side

for dessert:
a dangling sandal of chocolate
a dangling sandal of butterscotch
side by side


March 14, 2012

sure, the "open closet" design was palatial and breezy
but even chloe couldn't deny the inefficiency of it all

March 13, 2012

for ages, fishing has failed to achieve its chic, elitist potential
and ponchos
well, don't even get us started
but today we have united them
into an unprecedented amalgamation

our native american inspired chevron streaked virgin-wool cape
makes fishing the new tennis
ponchos . . .
the new pea coats


March 12, 2012

blue for obvious reasons
these amorphous gents
will grace your mantle
with hints of expensive
 - if questionable -


March 7, 2012

learning to fly 
 a daunting trial for any bird
but our training ramp allows for a smoother, silkier transition 
from the surface confines 
to an infinite sky of possibilities


March 6, 2012

March 5, 2012

so effective that we can't even properly photograph it
this color-shifting paranormal taper
would be the envy of the other candleholders

if only it could be seen