Ultraslimming Belt

handcrafted in the tiny Latvian village of Bulimija

our waist-hugging skinnybraid leather belt 

quells your ravenous appetite

to appear 20-30 lbs lighter 

and gives you that gaunt, skeletal self-image 

you have been starving for

$48

hootie :: 6

purgatory was exactly as hootie had imagined it

all it took was a splash of holy water

to confirm their deepest fears

Acme Rocket Heels

easy to use and reliable

these tropical-toned rocket heels

practically guarantee that you will catch

whatever dream you are chasing

$468

Fire Ants Frock 

this adorably offbeat picnicwear

will have you and your 'colony' marching one by one

in style

prepare to be fiercely 'stung'

by this cheeky new look!

$298

Fire Ants Wallpaper

and now you can blend in with your walls!

$198

Paint-by-Numbers Heels

we have combined some of favorite motifs:

ambiguously steam punk victorian ruffles

slinky mesh texturing

creamy pastels of yesteryear

vague notions of a dystopian future

espresso-toned suede

the bold and unforgivable 1980s

and the Jetsons

into a cacophonous exhibition

of surrealist colorblockery

$468

prix fixe :: course 4

Fruit Loop Square

a mosaic of crunchy hues

glazed in a ginger-lime infused crème anglaise

form a deliciously modern re-imagining 

of a childhood breakfast favorite

$22

Decapitated Corpse Plate

nothing like a gruesome depiction of a beheading

to spice up sunday brunch!

$498

Endurance Heels

perfect for climbing hundreds of cobbled stairs

these festive heels were built for comfort

and designed with more grit

than the rugged terrain they dominate

$148

knowing that any complaint of copyright infringement is punishable under SOPA 

sadie enjoyed what could very well be the last of her freedom

and prayed to the beachy coastal gods of california

that you contact your representative HERE

and voice your concerns

'Romantic Gesture' Umbrella

disguised to look like a men's jacket

this rom-com inspired umbrella will turn any rained-out date

into a memorable story you can tell your grandchildren

and single friends

may also be chivalrously tossed over a puddle 

$158

disclaimer:

umbrella may cause laughing

holding hands

frolicking

looking into one another's eyes

and falling into deep, eternal love

Vintage Theater Shoe Caddy

inspired by sticky movie theater floors

so coated in alternating layers of cola and artificial popcorn butter

that you can't even lift your feet

$188

Vintage Gypsy Ethnic Hippy Pouch

packing an unprecedented 7 whimsies per square inch

this vibrant color collage has it all

magical shimmering gypsy coins

lucky citrus-toned pom poms

enchanted indigenous pattern embroidery

imported fabrics from the lost isle atlantis

and a forbidden zipper

$88

Silverware Drying Rack

are you tired of your pesky silverware

always dripping with unsightly, wet moisture?

you want your silverware to dry

but when you towel it off

your towel gets wet

and then you have to dry off your towel

vigorously shaking the silverware works okay

but then EVERYTHING gets wet with flecks of tiresome dew

and your arms get tired 

from all that shaking

there has to be a better way

well now there is.

with Anthroparodie's Silverware Drying Rack

simple and easy to use

all you have to do is hang your antique or vintage silverware 

on our patented "dry-hook" system

wait several seconds 

and look at that!

dry as a bone!

now, you love silverware

but you HATE when it gets wet

with water

with soup

with milk from your morning cereal

well you can kiss those days of saturation goodbye!

with Silverware Drying Rack

users agree:

"it's so versatile!  it even works on serving spoons!"

"cleaning up after my dinner parties used to be a nightmare

but now it's a cinch!"

"my silverware has never been so dry!"

DRY IT OUT FOR YOURSELF!

$4800

BUT WAIT

if you order Silverware Drying Rack in the next 15 minutes 

we will throw in a SECOND drying rack 

for only 

$1800

and this one is unique

this one is special

this one...

is for teacups !

Teacup Drying Rack

you heard correctly

only

$1800

DON'T SIGH 

WHEN YOU CAN DRY!

not in stores

10 year limited warranty

beware of imitators

Rags to Riches Sweatercoat

from funky urban hobo

to blaxploitation pimp

this whimsically haute rumble 

of drapey stripes and knitten zigzaggery

climbs the socioeconomic street-class ladder

$248

Salvador Daltee

so unique is this dysmorphic, melting top

it is practically a museum piece

too special to be worn

and, like a fine museum piece,

we guarantee it will 

persist in your memory

$148

$79.95

hootie :: 5

unlike the other owls

-eyes wide with fear-

hootie knew how to keep his cool in a police lineup

Cookie Monster Pelt

"F" is for

fabulously flouncy fur

me want 100% cookie-fed, free-range muppet hide!

$798

just blending in with the locals!

Lifelike Paper Doll

swap madison's outfit every day 

as her slightly awkward position refuses to waiver

outfits include

harlequin jester at sea (left)

$532

pretentious friday-night hipster (right)

$231

Leprosy Tights

hypopigmented skin macules

and a kaleidoscope of lesions

come together in a scintillating play of tone and color

$18

with her bag of rolls tied to the aspen tree

and her buttoned ankle warmers secured

emileigh was ready for some good ole fashioned mushroom stomping !

Ironically Ugly '80s Sweater

like the crucifix that reminds us of sin and sacrifice

wearing ironically terrible, ill-fitting clothing from the 1980s 

with heinous shapes and dated colors

reminds us of a dark and wretched time period

that we are grateful is over

though it will haunt us forever

$128

prix fixe :: course 3

Assorted Hostess Sno Balls

rich, silken crème fraîche

encompassed in decadent pastried cacao

besieged in a marsh of chewy mallow 

and blanketed in a mosaic of tinted coconut confetti

$14 / sno ball

available in:

kyoto matcha latte

mangue jasmin isle

pétale de rose reverie

lavande-bleuet storm

so indecipherable was the ransom note

that even the great Sherlock Holmes threw up his arms in frustration