December 3, 2012

a rare vintage newspaper
printed on a sun-faded papyrus
has been precisely folded and creased
into a memory of how phones used to be


November 29, 2012

whether you are a film enthusiast or a cobbler
our niche lamps will surely brighten up your day!

$498 / lamp

November 28, 2012

November 21, 2012

marissa knew the only way to truly appreciate a forest etching
was to close her eyes tight and pretend she was there

November 16, 2012

they kicked up dust
they ran with all their might
but the wild horses could not escape
from the 70s fashion statement that enslaved them


November 14, 2012

it was a whimsical idea
- wallpapering the exterior of their cottage -
but ultimately the peeling failure was a monument
to their hapless bohemian spirit

November 13, 2012

yes, your blanket keeps you warm
but how does your blanket stay warm?
it doesn't
not without a sweater glued to it


November 12, 2012

activate sparkle thrusters
engage flashing doohickey
increase whirligig to 11
ignite thingamabob distributer
and prepare for unbridled, intoxicating, 
and earth-shattering whimsy


October 31, 2012

the etherial ghosts of your shattered glassware
linger on in a spiritual limbo
between the afterlife
and the duringlife

a phantasmic trace
a spine-chilling memory
a 10-piece set with punch bowl and ladle


October 30, 2012

pointelle roses, delicate latticework, and enchanted forest-dweller embroidery
encourage trick-or-treating, scary story telling, and screaming
under the blood moon


October 27, 2012

skin of snake and foot of crow
create a green malicious glow
an evil hex, a wretched lotion
a swirling whirling hellish potion


October 23, 2012

our honey-sweet microdress
will cause quite the buzz
at your sorority halloween party


October 22, 2012

The Room of Misfit Chairs
a little offbeat
a little quirky
but lovable all the same

these chairs 
with charmingly unnecessary knobs
and inexplicably mismatched legs
are the perfect way to celebrate difference

October 17, 2012

the citrus/gourd basket
- dropped -

a deplorable faux pas
by our supple, three-pronged, featherswift broom

sweep your gaffes away


October 12, 2012

hootie :: 8

Hootie tolerated the perpetual novelty flicking of his light switch "nipples"
but it was the cliched "hooters" pun that wearied him so

October 9, 2012

match our tie-died strappy cover-up
with loofah wedges
for the perfect outdoor shower


October 8, 2012

Malformed Cardboard Box
flatter your living room wall
with a lumpy, urine-stained
alley-cat shelter


October 5, 2012

capturing the essence
of your favorite retro arcade classic
this pixelated terracotta mosiac table
will perfectly compliment any patio
or 1980s pizza joint


October 4, 2012

maggi had heard the stories
of the so-called "vengeance unicorn"
living in the woods
stalking its human prey
and goring them to ruin
- one after another -
with its singular merciless horn

but she was "too old" to believe in fairy tales . . .

October 1, 2012

all new design features a 6" curvaceous screen
ultralight tin body
tethering to other tinPhones
laser-textured grip
9-way chatting
condensed soup storage

the biggest thing to happen to tinPhone since tinPhone

with 2-year contract

September 26, 2012

September 21, 2012

Secret Agent Kit
disguise-grade makeup
vial containing secret antidote
SuperSpy® strangle cord*
spool for proper SuperSpy® strangle cord storage
x-ray glasses
6 passports with alternate IDs and countries of origin
skeleton keys
cyanide "Lifesavers"
smoke-emitting diversion
telescoping pocket-blowgun


*pictured in Treachery Red
other colors available upon request

September 20, 2012

designed by the elusive Satin Bowerbird
this tanglesome weave
spruced up with an assortment of glimmering blue trifles
is a nest to impress


September 12, 2012

the portrait of mom had been rendered to perfection

capturing even her disapproval of the shab-chic torn wallpaper

September 11, 2012

conceal your missile or spacecraft
in this cotton-linen veil
embellished with subtle sequins
and chainstitched embroidery


September 6, 2012

when it comes to fall farm equipment
our chunky, cozy baler
will take you back to your simpler days
growing up on the farm
drinking hot spiced cider 
and watching dad
operating the ole hay-thrasher


September 4, 2012

step right up, canaries and lovebirds
to the Birdhouse of Mirrors!

what trip to the carnival would be complete
without a quest of skill and courage
as you navigate the mysterious twists and reflective turns
within the Birdhouse of Mirrors!

come one come all
to the Birdhouse of Mirrors!


August 21, 2012

prix fixe :: course 6

Half Pitaya
potpourri-dusted dragonfruit semi-ellipsoid
with twine-wrapped rose boutons
inverted misfit spoon
and stainless floralware
lightly garnished with ethically traded moss tips


August 15, 2012

she may have studied dance at juilliard
but somehow elsa continued to struggle
with the macarena

August 8, 2012

Lilac Ruffled Sleeping Bag
the fresh woodland air 
the rustic sounds of nature
the sky above 
- twinkling with a million glittery stars -

nothing like a camping trip
to escape the material world


wrought iron tent sold separately

August 6, 2012

explore the inkiest shadows
of the darkest caverns
with our powerful 350-lumen headflower


August 1, 2012

Spool Sample
our threadbare hickory spools
antiquated to the extent
that they won't function in any modern sewing machine
are the perfect garnish for your purely decorative "sewing nook"


July 30, 2012

what better way to present the ashen remains of your lamented relative
than hung within an ancient egyptian dung beetle artifact?
under the protective spell of the solar diety Khepri
your loved one will be encouraged 
with sweet notions of creation and rebirth


July 26, 2012

a tasteful amalgamation of flora and fauna
this mild-weather warmer screams:
welcome to the junglegarden


also available in zebradaisy

July 23, 2012

deeply tufted with matching buttons
this richly hued sofette 
cradles your guitar in sumptuous leather


July 20, 2012

known for their low, ragamuffinly status
living in desperately sad and appallingly filthy conditions
and begging for scraps of food just to stay alive
will simply adore this embroidered top!

from afar
as they could never afford such an extravagance 


July 16, 2012

ever the diva
madison insisted upon
dressing up for even her therapy sessions

July 13, 2012

inspired by her vivid animal-centric dreams
and her bloodlust to kill these whimsied creatures
and mount their heads on the wall
in a grotesque display of man's dominance over nature,
visionary/huntsman zoe williams invented a dreamport
to transport the objects of her dreams 
into her waking life
(and vice versa, if necessary)

behold her massacre


July 12, 2012

a circa-1900 union jack
cleverly re-imagined into a blanket
by adding a border to it

contemporary nostalgia


July 5, 2012

in charlotte's defense
the clarinetist was playing
the bill withers' classic: "lean on me"

July 3, 2012

Anthroparodie Étiquette #132

when hosting a family member after a surgery,
ensure their bed rest is as comfortable as possible
by providing clean linens,
natural sunlight,
and a playful whisper of fresh cut flowers

June 28, 2012

our sunshiny linen-tencil pair are certain to catch the eye of everyone
including predators 
hiding out in the bushes
and leering 
leering at your shimmery xanadu clutch
leering at your effortless skirted shell
leering at your rotary dial necklace

leering at your insouciant gait
as free as a sea-swept breeze

leering at you 


June 20, 2012

salvaged from the greasy ruins of an oil platform
and still boasting the haunted flicker of a thousand lonely nights offshore
a weathered beacon sheds light for roughnecks
and grizzled roustabouts  


June 18, 2012