one, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock
five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock
nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, rock
we're gonna rock around the clock tonight

grab your picnic basket and join me, hon

we're going to dolores park at one
we're gonna rock around the clock tonight
we're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight
we're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight

when the clock strikes two, three and four
if the wine runs out we'll buy some more
we're gonna rock around the clock tonight
we're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight
we're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight

when the chimes ring five, six and seven

grab espresso and a pastry at a cafe, oh heaven
we're gonna rock around the clock tonight
we're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight
we're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight

when it's eight, nine, ten, eleven too
I will watch french new wave films with you
we're gonna rock around the clock tonight
we're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight
we're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight

when the clock strikes twelve, we'll cool off then
do some yoga and achieve some zen

we're gonna rock around the clock tonight
we're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'til broad daylight
we're gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight

Merchant Nails

named for the merchant you have to be

to spent over $2 per nail

this set of rough 'n tumble iron mini-stakes

comes complete with a signature canvas tote

$28

merchant hammer and merchant tool belt sold separately

Acorn Caddy Palette

not sure what to do with all of your decorative acorns?

why not showcase them in this fete of colorful craters? 

$24

Deer Mating Ritual Blouse

spotted fawns prance and frolic on the hem of this slouchy top

as these twitterpated woodland creatures

prepare for a fruitful season of breeding

$88

Hookah for Sloth

because it's not as though sloths are 

laid back and easy going enough as it is

$398

Dating Abroad Service

looking for that special cultured someone?

with a sexy accent, rich customs, and - if you're lucky - an interesting hat?

look no further than anthroparodie's dating abroad service

for a true love connection

after answering a series of increasingly personal and alienating questions

we develop a character profile for you

then we locate a compatible match from a faraway land,

bribe him with farm equipment

or false promises of dowry

or a tunic

(whatever it takes, really)

and arrange a romantic adventure to meet him in his home country

get ready for your very own

happily ever after

$389 / month

airfare not included

Magic Eye Blouse

relax your gaze

drift into an oblique inner-focus

and this ruched poly-rayon top 

reveals a hidden image within 

$98