Natural Fiber Broomstick

the citrus/gourd basket

- dropped -

a deplorable faux pas

remedied 

by our supple, three-pronged, featherswift broom

sweep your gaffes away

$118

hootie :: 8

Hootie tolerated the perpetual novelty flicking of his light switch "nipples"

but it was the cliched "hooters" pun that wearied him so

Bathing Maxi

match our tie-died strappy cover-up

with loofah wedges

for the perfect outdoor shower

$148

$39.95

Malformed Cardboard Box

flatter your living room wall

with a lumpy, urine-stained

alley-cat shelter

$68

8-Bit Table

capturing the essence

of your favorite retro arcade classic

this pixelated terracotta mosiac table

will perfectly compliment any patio

or 1980s pizza joint

$1298

maggi had heard the stories

of the so-called "vengeance unicorn"

living in the woods

stalking its human prey

and goring them to ruin

- one after another -

with its singular merciless horn

but she was "too old" to believe in fairy tales . . .

tinPhone 5

all new design features a 6" curvaceous screen

ultralight tin body

tethering to other tinPhones

laser-textured grip

9-way chatting

condensed soup storage

the biggest thing to happen to tinPhone since tinPhone

$199.99

with 2-year contract